Monday, August 21, 2006

In case you plan on impaling yourself... I can help.

I am having a wonderful time lazing about and taking my job of being a slacker very seriously. (As you can see, I haven’t even been blogging much these days… Just too lazy!)

I did take a First Aid and CPR course on the weekend. Remember the guy who collapsed on me during the marathon? Well, that freaked me out enough to go get some training.

I remember taking some basic First Aid during a babysitting course a couple of decades ago (in the very early days of such courses). But naturally, I had forgotten about 99% of it. I was glad to see that some things had changed… We only practiced on dummies (no “real life sharing”, which I was thankful for). We used gloves and oral barrier devices, too – even on the dummies. Those were unheard of way back when.

Apparently, you don’t use alcohol or peroxide on the body for any reason any more. That was news to me. I just bought a bottle of rubbing alcohol about a year ago, deciding it was time to stop pouring my good tequila over my skin when I cut myself. (No, I am not kidding.)

We were told that these days you're not supposed to use anything other than soap and water on cuts and whatnot. Suits me… tequila was made for drinking, anyway!

The instructor knew her stuff, but oozed a steady stream of bitter, rancid sarcasm and a condescending attitude that almost sucked the life right out of me - no pun intended. Some people just shouldn’t teach.

But apart from that, it was good. My favorite part was bandaging; in particular, bandaging a casualty who’d been impaled with something. That we did get to practice on each other – and it was fun! I am now certified until August of 2009 (so if you're going to impale yourself, do it before then, OK?)

Other than that… still busy slacking…


Karen in Calgary said...

Um, I think I'll pass on the impalement for now. Glad you took the course - always nice to know there's one more First Aider out there! (which reminds me, it's been a few years since my last refresher)

backofpack said...

Just in case...if I impale myself, send you an email to come help me, how long before you get here?

I have to recertify every two years for work, so just took the course again in January. I didn't hear anything about rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Interesting.

You can use that tequila while slacking you know! That fits right into slacker rules.

Jeremiah said...

Okay, trial by fire. I've impaled myself with a spoon, right in my palm. What do I do now? And, yes, I've already taken a couple of shots of tequila--and, yes, it was 100% agave.

Sarah said...

I'll try to keep the impaling to a minimum. But glad to know you're prepared just in case! : )

Sarah Elaine said...

Jeremiah - Well, you call 911 for starters. Do not remove the object. As for the rest... I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill you. ;-)

Janice said...

Hi Sarah,

Wow, remind me to impale myself some where in the area where you are! Way to go! Taking that class!

I know what you mean about some teachers:

My YGF(Young Goth Friend) started school on Monday, and had a terrible head ache, and one of her teachers asked what was wrong and she told him. He told her, "stick a knife in her temple, and that would cure all her ills."

You don't say that to a person that cuts themselves, they might do it! And she was wearing a tank top so he could plainly see her old scars on her arms.

She told her dad, and he is going to have a word with the principal about that teacher.


Robb said...

First aid training - good for you! I took the St. John Ambulance thing in Grade 8 and realize that it's time for a refresher.

madcapmum said...

Gosh, I'm trying to tie up all the loose ends, and I'd forgotten all about my impalement commitment. How does October/06 work for you, Sarah?

Granny said...

I'll go to sleep now and dream of all sorts of unpleasant things.

wthenrest said...

I loved that part... I felt closer to being CSI