I'm marginally past the meltdown point, it seems. It's funny how these things take time to pass when really, you just want it to be over.
The final exam for the course I'm teaching happened this week. Now I just have to correct them and submit the final grades. There were a few issues with students, but they sorted themselves out. In one case, a student went to see the Department Head. He, bless his tough little heart, thought the student was a lunatic and sided with me 100%. There are times when I truly appreciate my superiors. That was one of them.
Speaking of which, my Ph.D. supervisor has also been a fountain of support for me this week. We met on Thursday and I handed in the outline for my thesis proposal that was due. When I got to his office, there were two small cups set out with a bottle of my favorite beverage on the table (a gift from a visiting Mexican professor, which my supervisor felt it was appropriate to crack open, given my meltdown.) I sat there thinking, "I am truly lucky. At this particular moment, I do believe I have the coolest supervisor on campus."
We had a good meeting. He told me not to worry and that whatever happens, we'll deal with it. But still... not to worry.
I will not rest until I know if I have passed the Stats class. At this point though, there's not much I can do about it, so I try to think of other things.
I actually got a few Christmas cards written and presents bought this week, which felt great, too. Most of the cards are off in the mail, though the parcels may be a bit late. Oh well... They'll get there eventually.
What has been keeping me more or less sane is getting regular activity. Running three times a week and doing weights on the off days has kept me from going completely over the edge. I am happy to report that my knees are happy and I'm adding a few minutes of time each week to my runs.
Last Saturday I got outside for the first time in a few weeks. I did a total of 6.5 km. I know that for some of you ultra runners, that is a mere warm-up, but for me, it's pretty much a personal record (well, except for the running I did in high school, but that was 20 years ago - literally!) I'm so very glad to be back running. It has been my salvation and my sanity. God bless my chiropractor!
All in all, I'm still fairly overwhelmed, but in general, life is better this week. Amen to that.
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Upon completion comes fulfillment.
WIth fulfillment comes liberation.
Liberation allows you to go on.
Even death is not a true ending.
Life is infinite continuation.
Always finish what you start. That alone is dicipline and wisdom enough. If you can follow that rule, then you will be superior to most people.
When you come to the end of a cycle, a new one will begin. You might say that completion actually begins somewhere in the middle of a cycle and that new beginnings are engendered out of previous actions.
Completing a cycle means fulfillment. It means that you have achieved self-knowledge, dicipline and a new way of understanding yourself and the world around you. You cannot stop there, of course. New horizons are always there. But you can reach out for those new vistas with fresh assurance and wisdom.
With each turn of the wheel you go further. With each turn of the wheel you free yourself from the mire of ignorance. With each turn of the wheel comes continuation.
Turn the wheel of your life. Make complete revolutions. Celebrate every turning. And persevere with joy.
Continuation
from 365 Tao
Deng Ming-Dao
Turtle guy provided a most excellent comment - I will only add that you are definitely more upbeat. I hope your winter break gives you some much needed relaxation.
I am thrilled to hear your running is going so well - you are awesome!
Was it Kahlua?
Hi Sarah,
It sounds like you are feeling better, and your running again too good for you.
Janice~
I think you've crested your mountain.
yay! welcome back to humanity. sort of. :))
I think you have the coolest supervisor EVER. I never got any tequila from mine. Not a drop.
You do have a great supervisor!
Great job on the running. I may be able to complete a 50k, but I try to be thankful for and mindful of every mile. : ) Keep it up!
Sometimes you drive me crazy... LOL
You acomplish something and you still compare it as not a success. So the uber- runners do more..you also know me who could not...why not compare with me...that would be great because then you could look at it as the accomplishment it is!!
Yay for a good knee! And for a sane supervisor - somebody who is a rare kind:)
I think we all have meltdowns at some point along the way and perhaps some of us more than others. I am glad you are feeling a little bit better and am happy that you have running back in your life to take the edge off a bit as well. I will pray for you and a passing grade in your stats class.
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