Monday, October 03, 2005

Wobbly bits

"Wobbly bits".

That's the phrase used in this (rather humorous) article from the U.K. that I sent around to some friends a few days ago. It talks about euphemisms we use for those body parts we don't really like. I think some of the terms must be British English, but it was still a good chuckle. (I thought the photo adaptation of the famous actress was especially well done.)

"Body language for women's wobbly bits"
http://www.sunderlandtoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=1512&ArticleID=1193911

If nothing else, the article shows how most of us have body parts that wobble, wiggle or jiggle.

I was acutely aware of my "wobbly bits" today at the gym during my training session.

Throughout the session, in addition to the usual "Stability check!" that Chris weaves into every set of instructions, I kept being told things like, "Tighten your core", "Tighten your abs" and possibly even, "Suck in your gelatinous belly!" (Well, OK, maybe that last bit wasn't actually something that was said, but it was implied...)

I finally said, "I AM tightening it!"

To which the reply was, "Oh... OK."

To drive the point home, I said, "Please just stop saying that because every time you say it, I am ALREADY tightening! It doesn't get any tighter than that!"

Some women have wobbly "bits". I clearly have wobbly "regions" (and yes, more than one, I daresay).

The trick is to try to get them not to wobble -- at least not when you're exercising. The fact that they continue to bob and jiggle around, defying all "tightening" attempts -- and even a professional trainer can't tell you're at least making an effort, is positively abysmal… not to mention, disheartening.

To make matters worse, we worked on running today. I was told that my arms “flop around”.

Flop.

Now there’s a good four-letter word.

When I responded indignantly, the reply was, “Well, OK, maybe there’s a better choice of word. How about … lazy?”

Now, I don’t want to state the obvious here, but note that “lazy” is another four-letter word (and one rarely used to describe me in any way, shape or form, I might add – wobbly or not!)

So, after my session, I trudged home, feeling rather stiff and sore, despite having stretched a fair amount afterwards. This will get easier, I keep telling myself… This is, after all, damn near a lifetime of wobble we’re up against here…

My spirits were lifted later tonight as my house-mate, Leah, and I were chatting while we chilled out watching TV. Leah’s just moved in this fall and so far, she’s a fantastic house mate.

Tonight, as she often does, Leah interjected our TV watching with her usual witty and sharp running commentary that makes me laugh so hard that I’m almost in tears. She’s hilarious – and doesn’t seem to be aware of that fact, which of course, makes her even funnier. Tonight though, I had to say, “Please, stop! It hurts too much to laugh!”

My core was so stiff after that training session I’ll be damn surprised if I can move at all tomorrow.

Wobbly abs, my ass!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's what I figure...wobbly bits are just another form of personality. Lots of wobbly bits, or generously wobbly parts, all add to the fun.

Bast said...

Guffaw, guffaw - v. funny. I am learning to love my wobbly bits as my body generally begins to sag in a southward motion with the passage of time. Unfortunately, these same wobbly bits scare my cat, and I am forced to cover up quickly lest the poor thing scampers from the room in a fright.

zouzou said...

hmm. I am gaining a new appreciation for wobbly bits as I find the girls are getting rather large and wobbly. They do get in the way when they're big, don't they? I mean, I really can't see the sides of my stomach any more. And they LIE on my RIBS when I bend over. wierd.

zouzou said...

ps. your arms were probably not moving in the most effective manner to propel your forward motion. Yeah, he stuck his foot in it.

Alia said...

OK, let me get this straight...someone tried to put "lazy" and "Sarah" together? Who was he looking at?? Were his eyes open??

I'm baffled.