Over the past week I’ve done more socializing and had more contact with friends and family than I have for most of the semester. Felt great!
During the course of these interactions, there’s always good conversation to be had. The topic inevitably rolls around to relationships. I have been curious to see the number of different types of relationships people do – or do not – have. Here’s a sampling:
Case 1 – Had drinks with a fellow grad student after class one day last week. She told me that she had her husband have been happily married for five years. One of their ‘understandings’ is that a ‘physical indiscretion’ for either of them would not end their marriage. For them, it’s OK to share the occasional romp with someone else, providing there’s no emotions or love involved.
Case 2 – I have another friend who is celibate by choice. I recently found out that she hasn’t been on a date since 1993. – 1993!!! – She’s smart, funny, beautiful, worldly, socially charming… and has no interest in men (or women, for that matter.) She’s perfectly happy without a partner… or even a date.
Case 3 – Another friend, whose birthday is the day before mine, told me that his best gift this year was that his partner of 2.5 years (with whom he lives) finally ‘told the parents’.
Case 4 – A friend in her early 40s who’s been married twice, and now seems to enjoy the company of lovers over long-term partners, decided earlier this year that it was time for a baby. She is currently quite ‘pregnant by design’, having visited a fertility clinic. For her, not having a husband was no reason not to have a baby. (I admit, I thought about this too, but ultimately decided it wasn’t for me…at least not now.)
Then there’s me – I seem to routinely attract men who want to marry me. I’ve done this since my very first boyfriend in high school. All modesty aside, I’ve had more marriage proposals than I care to count.
And I was married. Once. To be honest, I’m not sure I have it in me again. I’m at the point now where I’ll say to a man (even one I care about sincerely), “If you say the ‘L-word’ or the ‘M-word’, I’m outta here.” (‘L’ being for ‘love’ and ‘M’ being for ‘marriage’ of course.)
So… Here are my questions… Would a ‘physical indiscretion’ end a relationship for you? Ever been celibate by choice? (This topic may get a post of its own soon…) How long would you wait for someone to tell their family about you? Would you ever have or adopt a baby without a partner? Is marriage your end goal to being in a relationship?
I’m interested to know what others have to say about this topic. As MCM would say, “Kettle’s on… Let’s chat about this one over tea….”