Teetering on the edge... trying not to fall into the abyss!

Maybe my theme words for 2005 (“balance” and “health”) should really have been carried over into 2006. Though I do remember saying that they weren’t going to be totally forgotten…

This past week I have realized that somewhere along the way, things are more out of balance than they have been in a long time. So, I had a very tired week… A culmination of doing too much and spreading myself too thin, I’m afraid. I have snapped at people, not returned phone calls and gotten far too little sleep (actually… my sleep has been totally messed up, which makes me grumpy!)

Work has become hideously busy with the fiscal year end approaching. The interim director is good, but simply lacks the history that I have with the place. The assistant is wonderful, but would need to develop more of a skill set than she currently has to help me any more than she does now. And besides, she’s getting ready to leave for her home country to finish her studies for four months. So, I will be sans Director (a.k.a. mentor) and sans Assistant (a.k.a clerical life saver). We have an Interim Director and we will have a temporary assistant, which is much better than what it could be… But still… I feel work weighing heavily on my shoulders at the moment…

And speaking of things weighing heavily, I have noticed that my performance at the gym has been abysmal lately… I lack focus and motivation… Not to mention that I have completely plateaued.

To add insult to injury (literally) … my back began to ache and seize up about a week ago. In my last appointment with Tim (the physiotherapist), he came across loud and clear, “You’re doing too much. You need to back off.” And to drive the point home, I got needles in my thigh, my shin and all up and down my back. I stopped counting how many there were… It wasn’t nice… Though I felt much better the next day.

I started with two knees out of whack. We fixed up the left one, but the right one has been persistent in not healing… To add the lower leg and now back pain is not a good sign. Things should be getting better, not worse.

The word “burnout” has been mentioned to me by more than one person…

So, I have looked at things as objectively and clinically as I can (given my state of near exhaustion these days) and have decided to cut back on a few non-school, non-work related things and spend time focusing on studying, sleeping and generally taking care of myself. At the suggestion of both my physio guy and my trainer, I will take a week off from training and rest.

I really need to catch up on my studies and school work next week, so that is what I will do. I’ll try to keep the blog updated, but if I don’t, you’ll know that I’m busy working on the balance thing…. Not to worry... The "real" Sarah will be back soon. Promise!