Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Abbott and Costello in the 21st Century

Got this one by e-mail. Just had to share it...

2006 Version of Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?"

For those of us who remember "Who's on first?", this is priceless! You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?


COSTELLO: For my office?


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".............


madcapmum said...

Jeepers, after a while working with the darn things you forget to notice how bizaree the language has become!

Turtle Guy said...

Absolutely fabulous! I laughed till it hurt!

Chrystal said...

That was great!

ipodmomma said...

very very good...

had coffee today, it was very very good too!!!!

ipoddauta said...

Thank you so much for the coffee! It was very, very, good. Like my Mom said. We never get coffee, unless we're at an airport or, well, thats really just about it. And when i go to my Grandma's house. She makes me coffee. Thanks again! :D

Joyce said...

LOL! I love it!

Elliot said...

Madcapmom got me thinking that we sure do talk weird these days about our computers. As a tech writer, I find myself constantly trying to keep from humanizing these things. I catch myself writing "the program recognizes..." or "the system waits for your response..." or "when it's talking to the printer..." And, nowadays, computers go to sleep, hibernate, freeze, interrupt, search for other wireless networks that it can connect to (insert own joke here), catch viruses, have names, pay your bills, and gobble up memory.

Okay, now I'm scared...

grannyfiddler said...

i was listening to the radio recently, to a bit about a new craze in the schools. cup stacking. and it has it has its own jargon... "upstacking"... "downstacking" it's no wonder we humans have so much trouble communicating! we go to incredible lengths NOT to be understood.

M A F said...

That is a finely crafted piece of verbal engineering.

Janice said...