Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Out of denial and into an R.

A while ago my good friend, A. said to me, "Sarah, I think you're in an R."

"An R.?" I replied. "Me? Oh no... I don't think so. I couldn't possibly be in an R!"

R. is what we say instead of saying the scary word it represents. You know... like the 4-letter "L." word or -- even scarier -- "The M. Word".

An "R." usually coincides with "L.", but precedes "M." (... but sometimes breaks down -- or up, depending on your lexicon -- before you get to M.)

But enough word play.

A. was gently trying to nudge me out of my comfort zone of denial. You see... I've been... er... seeing someone... for a while... Months, actually.

We were friends... then a bit more than friends... And I have effectively kept him at arm's length - at least emotionally - for... well... a good long time.

A., being the good friend she is, looked me sternly in the eye some time ago and said, "So... what would you call it when you're only exclusively seeing each other, you spend time together regularly, call each other several times a week and e-mail as well? Hhhhhmmmmm????"

Um... dunno? Anything but an R., I guess.

Scares the crap out of me, truth be told.

I've already been down the marriage road... and failed. Horribly. Been down the relationship road, too.... And that didn't work out so well either.

I tell myself I'm too busy for an R. I say, "Hellooowwww??? Doing a Ph.D. here...! Oh yeah... and trying to get fit and healthy, too! No time for more than that!"

But this has... well... crept up on me.

He's been persistent... and patient. I've told him to back off more than once. And he has. I've pushed him away. And he went... but not so far that he was out of reach.

So... sigh... I guess it's time to crawl out of my shell of denial. Yes, A., you are right... I'm in an R.

There, I've admitted it.

I know the question that's going on inside your head. The answer is to be found on my blog roll... (speaking of shells...) Turtle Guy (of Dave's Armchair)... (Aren't Turtles the slow ones that always win the race?)


ipodmomma said...

R's can be very nice, especially when the other person in the R is thoightful, kind, and very aware of the other person in the R...

and L and M can be pretty fun too...

nice post! hope you had a really nice V-day... :)))

sissoula said...

Wow, maybe it's not just another day!

Granny said...

Now I know I'm losing it. It took me five minutes to figure out R is for relationship. I kept saying R is for rut? but that couldn't have been it.

Good grief. I'm so glad I was wrong.

Anvilcloud said...

Ah, so you and Dave, eh? That's connection that I hadn't made before. Have fun, eh?

Chrystal said...

From one girl to another...I went through a failed marriage and plenty of bad ones when I was younger so I totally understand being scared. However; I've always held on to the belief that a wonderful relationship awaited me. I was right.

Dave is an amazing guy and I am so happy you have found each other. In me you will always have a loud cheering section

robtherunner said...

Sarah you had my head spinning there for a moment until I figured what R, L, and M all stood for. Thanks for your thoughts and good wishes for your R.

Turtle Guy said...

I suppose it just wouldn't do to lurk at this blog post!

To everyone who comments here: All the wonderful things about Sarah you already know because you all visit here frequently. There isn't a day that goes by without several warm, thoughtful, generaous and supportive comments. I think that in and of itself demonstrates much of the person Sarah is.

To Sarah: Thank you.

madcapmum said...

The R word and the L word add a lot of sweetness to life. Enjoy! Hiding isn't for brave souls like you!

oldhall said...

R is for radishes

Or maybe ravishing

L is for leeks

Or maybe lipsmacking

M is for mushrooms

Or maybe just MUSHY

zouzou said...

Sa-Rah! who'da thought? well, good on ya, grrlfriend! I firmly believe in R, L and M. That despite the fact that I've tried them all several times each. Well M only 2x but I think that justifies my opinion! R is a good place to start.

Turtle, let me introduce myself, as you seem to have hit the jackpot: I'm on the commando death-squad of the PLS (Protect Sarah League), in case there's any misbehavin' from the likes of youse. Need we say more? ;) giggle. (oh, wait, not THAT kind of misbehaving, it's practically EXPECTED, I'd say)

A. said...

Well Done Sarah!!

There's nothing like admitting to the R. and then telling ALL of your blogging friends! (Well, what's the point of doing something if you were only planning to do it half-way anyway??)

Here's my official contribution:

Welcome back to the land of R.

Sarah Elaine said...

Well... I must say... I do feel privileged to be surrounded by people who are so interested in my being in an R. (And Z… the PSL made me laugh. Thanks, babe. I belong to a couple of protection leagues myself – yours included! Friends need to look out for each other…)

I suppose those of you who are nearby will have to meet Turtle at some point… But just let me take it slow, OK? I tell him… “You THINK you’re a turtle; but I AM a turtle.” I do have the shorter legs of the two of us (like that’s a big surprise), so I waddle much slower than the average bear… turtle… whatever.

wthenrest said...

Well I am out of the loop ...an R mmmm I thought there was a sparkle in your eyes. two turtles...:0) hee that gives me a fun visual...hehe

M A F said...

R,L,M...boy I was thinking about your knee. Silly me.

Well it sounds like accepting that you are in a R, is yet another step in learning to B.

It seems most reasonable to believe that L and M can be easily incorporated into B.

Would you agree?

Bast said...

Wow. An "R", eh (or is that "A"?)? And with a Ph.D.! Congrats! Does this mean our Matrix evening is off??? Please, gods, no! Don't forget the S.A.D.! And the V.L.T.'s!! (OK, enough with the letter acronym-symbolisms ...)
Have some fun for me!

Turtle Guy said...

It seems we have a hot little topic here! Just thought I'd check in to see who's saying what...

OH - you make me laugh!

Z & A - I invite you to read my next blog post.

WTHENREST - A sparkle, hey?

MAC - Insightful.

BAST - I wouldn't DREAM of standing in the way of a Girl's Night (in or out).

Vee said...

LOL. I was thinking rebound. Erm, I'm glad it's not!

Congrats on your new found R. And even bigger congrats to admitting to being in one. I know all about keeping people at arm's length esp. while slinking into the romantic arena. But it's a step forward. Breathe deep and be true. :) Thank God you have a friend like A.(I don't know her but can imagine the friendship she offers).

Holmes_Beef said...

I happen to know D.

He is without a doubt one of the most honest and genuine people I know.

Enjoy your R. Enjoy D.


traveller one said...

Like a few others I thought you were in a RUT! But hooray that I was way off, and a big cheer for the two of you!