Dating... sizing it up (part two)

Thanks for the comments on the last post, all. Since some of you hinted that you'd like a follow-up post, here it is.

First of all, let me say that was got me about the exchange was the "blanket statement" quality of the conversation. To me, it would have been similar to saying, "Black women are more interesting"; "Short women are more interesting" or "Brown-eyed women are more interesting". It was the idea that there was a certain quality that makes some people interesting and others not.

But as one female friend pointed out to me, skin colour, height and eye colour are not things that most of us can change (at least not on a longer term or permanent basis)... except if you have vitiligo, as another friend does, a condition which causes her lovely chocolate-coloured skin to turn porcelain white in patches.

Weight is something we can change and society (and medical professionals) urge most of us to either change (as in, lower) or keep an eye on. For many women, weight is a particularly sensitive issue (damn the media!)

The idea that shocked me was that for this fella, there’s a direct relationship between size and interest, with “bigger” being “better”… in his experience of course. Being the pragmatic, analytical type, I went for the logical extrapolation… as a woman gets bigger, she becomes more attractive; smaller, less attractive.

Apparently though, you can’t apply logic to matters of the heart.

I did probe the matter a bit further. Turns out that some of those “bigger women” (still left undefined) suffered from depression, which had also had a direct -- i.e. negative-- effect on the relationship. So… it seems that he was drawn to these women because he perceived them to be “interesting” (still left undefined). It appears as though there was a coincidental (rather than cause-effect) relationship between these women’s quality of being interesting and their size. There was, however (in his opinion) a cause-effect relationship between the women’s size and their sense of confidence… and perhaps another link to their depression… thought that was left unexplored… whether the depression was coincidental or cause-effect.

In the end, the negative effects of the depression outweighed the women’s attractive qualities (no pun intended) and the relationships ended.

The issue of cause-effect versus coincidence here is a key element for me. If someone said, “Women who are vegetarian are more interesting.” or “Women who have llamas as pets are more interesting.” I would probably retort with the same, “Excuse me?!” Meaning, “There’s no logic at all in that statement. Explain yourself, please, because I don’t get it.”

Next time perhaps I’ll just say that.

But wait… that’s right… there IS no logic to matters of the heart, is there?